This is me.

This is me. Sitting in a bubble bath. This is me. Listening to great music. This is me. Breathing steadily. Its me wondering how I got here. Wondering where to go. Its me being lonely. Refusing to shed a tear. This is me remembering. What it was like with you. What I want from life. The dreams and plans I've set aside for far too long. Its me believing, trying, striving for something more. This is me looking in the mirror and for once being proud of those scars. Screw where they came from. They're here and never going away. This is me realizing that its All part of me. Not just the good, but the bad as well. Who has the right to judge me? Not you. See; this is me. I've been through Hell. I came out alive. No. No; better than that. I came out free, true, believing, naive in my own right, caring, quiet at times but louder than you'll ever know. I came out my own person. Not the shell of what was. Not the beginnings of what will be. I came out free. I know who I am. And I may stumble from time to time. I may not always be the wisest, or the best, or the prettiest. But really, who cares. See, here's the difference between you and me. I lay my head down each night and I may cry, or over think every little thing, or silently apologize for my wrongs of the day. Just like you. But this is me. And I lay my head down knowing that I've done my best. I may have a temper. Okay lets face it, I have an attitude problem at times. I may not always be there when someone needs me. The cleaning may not be done or the laundry not put away. But I try. This is me. And I think I'm worth it. Even at my lowest I'm worth it. Because I try. This is me realizing that I've spent my whole life trying to be worth it to others. This is me realizing that I've never been enough for me. This is me realizing how I got here. This is me remembering lessons learned. This is me realizing I can have all the knowledge in the world but have the ability to still be stupid. And I think this may be the point of everything; right? Who cares how much you know? You'll never get anywhere unless you do. Action. Putting lessons learned to use. This is me remembering a conversation with a dear friend. He said "you're just so up and down; here and there. I couldn't help but think 'Can I deal with this?' You never know what to expect with you. One day you're great and the next you're mad at the world then two seconds later you're crying. I mean, how does one deal with that?" This is me knowing its true. This is me realizing that I've spent so long trying to make others happy that I've often become a reflection of what I'm around. This is me taking action and placing that 'grounding factor' in myself. This is me knowing that its hard to break habits. This is me determined. I am who I am, I can be anything I want to be. This is me; wanting to be me.