I've had to work myself towards finally writing all of this. Honestly, I would rather write it in past tense; but it's happening now...I've been fighting depression since Sunday morning. See, Saturday night I lost my job. I've never really been fired before. I've quit, I've not gone back, I've moved on to better opportunities. I've never sat down with my boss and been fired. From a job I loved. Now I'm sitting here and wondering what I'm going to do. So many applications this week...and not a single call back. I'm hoping they'll start coming next week. If not I'll have to go back into food service. I enjoyed the extra time with my son. Plan on using my free time to get things done around the house. Feel completely useless while not generating an income...and I have an amazing support system. People here by me helping in any way they can. I'm the helper though. I can't help people when I'm helpless myself...I'm at a loss for words. I had it all together for a while. Is this a test? Haven't I sustained enough recently? I feel like all my hard work is going down the drain. I'm better than this. I want more. I had a plan. Now I have a theoretical one. Looks good on paper but reality looks bleak. I can't stand this...and I don't even feel like going into the rest...I think I need to get some actual rest.
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