Fail.

I'm so frustrated right now. I've got this image speaking to my heart of this flower blooming up out of  a dark place, beautiful as ever. I've got colors going everywhere of gorgeous oranges and golds everywhere out shining this grey shading from where it came. I can see it and feel it and the wonderful magic of the healing and beauty of something new, mixed with the desperation and sorrow and anger. I have this ability to picture souls, to see their colors and beauty and pain and I have all this emotion going through me to just get it out. To put it down on paper and let others see the beauty I feel in me right now. But to also show the pain and agony from where it came. Just emerging and producing this bright light of serenity. I've got so much going through my mind, so much I feel in my heart and I just wanna put it out there, for the whole world to see...it's so hard to put it in words, so hard to tell you how this image makes me feel and I can't seem to put it down on paper with the supplies I have. I know what I want, I can see it. But in order for it to become a reality I've got to have the right tools. I guess, in some way, that reflects my life right now too, why I'm making the changes I am. I have this ending in sight, this beautiful picture of what I'll be, what I'll see when I picture my own soul. I've always looked at people and saw their color. And I'm not talking skin tone. I mean their true color. For those of you wondering, yes I believe in auras and yes, when I look at you I see your aura. And I want to put mine down on paper right now but can't. I've almost got this feeling of desperation in me to get it all out. But right now I'm stuck. It's pure torture. I feel like I'm bursting from the seams with nowhere for the energy to go...I think I'm just gonna go for a run...I can't even find the words to give me release from this pressure in my soul...