Nightmares suck..

The nightmare: walking through a house, minding my own business. Suddenly a large man rounded the corner and hit me, stumbling backwards, I wasn't sure what was going on. The blows kept coming though. Over and over and over. I felt something in me snap, I couldn't breathe. That was the main thing. For the life of me, I could not breathe in. I fell to the ground, unable to even defend myself anymore, yet the blows still kept coming. Curled up as small as I could I wondered what had happened to cause this, kept praying it would stop. It felt like this went on forever, every blow more painful than the last. And just before the world went black, I woke up.

The reality: what makes my nightmares so terrifying to me is not their content. What is written above is not that scary reading it on paper. It almost seems silly to wake up terrified over a dream like that. No stuff jumping out at you, no random weird objects chasing you through the dark. What makes my nightmares so terrifying to me, is that they are actually memories. I have a floating rib from that day, it was never set back right so it didn't heal properly. I am pretty sure that my brother would have killed me that day, had my cousin not been there at the last second to stop him. People often wonder why I hold my Z***** up on a pedestal. This is only one of the times he saved my life with his bare hands. I'm guessing the stress of him being overseas and the news I received from him yesterday was the cause of this nightmare. He is my protector, and I am having a hard time sharing MY protector with the whole country. I'm so proud of him for all he's become, for all he's done. I'm so scared that he won't come home...he's a hero, through and through. He's smart, strong, talented, extremely skilled in his field. All of that brings forth pride, and pure terror all at once. A dreaming nightmare to reflect living one I suppose...

End it on a good note! Feeling better now that I'm a little awake. It'll take me a bit to shake it completely, but here's the point of all this. I woke up from a nightmare, flipping out on the inside, almost in tears on the outside. Then my boy gave me a sleepy hug and mumbled he loves me. I've been so afraid of what would happen when that point came and I woke up from a nightmare with nobody to hold me and wipe the tears away. That point came today and I realized I will always have my boy. Even if he's not physically here, just memories of his hugs and kisses will out-good any bad dreams. Have a good day everyone!