Morning.

                       
                                      
Well, technically it's afternoon. I just woke up though so we're going with morning. Momma told me to pray, and I don't even know where I would begin. I need to though. Let God have some of this chaos raging around/in me. I'm feeling better today though. I know everything will work out one way or the other, there's not much any of us can do about most of it. My Dad will be going to jail/prison. Nobody knows for how long yet, but it's inevitable that he will. He can't talk his way out of this mess, and there's nobody around that's able to save him. He should've stayed in AA, should've kept away from the bad influences. He should not have made the choices he has made. I'm not even going to put the rest of all that on here until more information is available. As far as the car goes, I'm just going to have to be more patient about getting my apartment and buy a car first. I obviously can't rely on the men in my life for it (meaning my family men) and its time I make that step on my own. Umm...savings...I'm readjusting my goals, making them a bit more realistic. I'm learning patience through this test. It will take longer than I expected to get where I'm going, but I will get there. That determination is back :) I just have to take care of other things first. I'm 21. I feel like I should be farther in my life, but then I've always done everything backwards :) This morning I am not defeated, I am not hopeless, I will not break. Bending is acceptable, breaking is not. I have been through more than a few broken promises and a little setback. This shit is a piece of cake. I will eat my cake, because I'm not worried about having it too. Momma will just make sugar cookies :) For now, God has calmed the storm in me and that's all I can ask for. I am alive. I am well. I'm about to be dancing as I cook/clean/pack. It may not be a spectacular day, but it will be good if there's anything I can do about it. Cheers to newer new beginnings :) tehe. Ooh! I almost forgot to mention!!! I got the address for my Z this morning. Let the letters begin :)