Internet is back!

Oh wow...where to even begin?
We'll start with Thursday. It was amazing! I had such a good time. For a whole day and most of that night I had no stress, just fun. I can't even begin to tell you all how much that was needed or how much it is still appreciated. Good company, good game (though I was mad that we lost...), I can't even put into words how good of a time I had.
Then...the rest of the weekend. It's all been such a whirlwind I don't even know where to begin. It's been a lot of work, a lot of talking to my momma, a lot of thinking about things on a deeper level and a lot of sleep. Lol. Friday I worked and it was crazy hectic. Went out to the haunted house afterwards but there wasn't really anyone out there so I left early. Went out for drinks and a lot happened that night that I'm not going to put on here. I stayed sober, so that has nothing to do with it. I just reached a point of not wanting to deal with anything in certain parts of my life anymore. It was extremely stressful at that point, but I've already reached my limit on dealing with some things and I've been a lot less stressed since that night. For the one I got into the argument with, I apologize for being hateful and I accept your apology for being hateful. I guess it was just a lot of stuff that needed to be said.
Next was Saturday. Slept a majority of the day, then went to a lunch in support of the police raising money for the Special Olympics. It was a delicious meal, and we all know how much I love food :) went to work from there and then came Saturday night. Almost made it through a scary movie (yea, I'm a baby). Had a blast and the best sleep I've had in as long as I can remember. Sunday brought more work, a pretty much sleepless night and morning came way too soon. Though this morning has been pretty amazing. Went and picked my little big man, planned on checking the Internet while he was napping and ended up napping right along with him. We're both awake again and in pretty good moods :)
Now for all the emotional stuff. It's been a while since I've been able to post so it's gonna be a bit difficult to get through all of this, mostly because once I'm through a situation I put it behind me and move forward, but I'll give it a shot. We're talking a four day span here and I've felt so many different  emotions. I'm worried about what I'm going to do as far as a place to live goes. I'm so anxious to get my own place that I haven't really decided what I'm going to do while saving up for the deposit. I know I want to get grants for school, I know I need to find a new place ASAP. I'm going to my brothers tomorrow and I'll be coming home with a vehicle I can use. Yes, my brother spoils me like no other. The whole world can be barking at my back and he's right there asking me what he an do. I have a friend like that a well and I still can't understand how I'm lucky enough to have them. So...thanks Bubby and thanks love, you two are amazing. Anywho, back to business. I've felt everything fom happy to in a panic to sad within the past few days. It's been crazy, exhausting, and exhilarating all at once. I feel so alive because I'm allowing my emotions free range for once instead of keeping them all bottled up inside. I can't even describe it. In the words of Momma "child, quit thinking so much and follow your heart. it has some scars, but it'll never steer you wrong." It's hard to deal with it all, but I've never felt so alive. Most of the time I'm so drained because I spend all day trying to keep my emotions under control. But I'm learning, and yes it's still a learning process, that I can let them go and just make sure I'm not over analyzing them all. Because that's what really gets me, it's not feeling everything I feel, it's when I try to make sense of it all. Right now, I'm alive, and I don't feel like I'm dying inside for the first time in a few years. It's odd, it's sensational, it's overwhelming. But I can honestly say I'm loving every moment of allowing myself to feel again, the good and the bad. I know a lot has changed since my last post, chalk it up to late nights and the wisdom of Momma. Sorry the Internet has been poopy and I haven't been able to keep you all updated along the way. Just know that I've taken a fresh step, there's a lot of behind the scenes I won't post on here, but if you have a question about something feel free to ask me.
I don't think that really covers it all, but for now I'm going to enjoy the sunshine with my boy :)