Side note! I swear, I'm going to bed after this.

I had an epiphany while smoking my last cigarette before bed. I've never explained the bipolar disorder thing. Let me take a moment to do this.

Bipolar disorder: I explained this once to my niece, I will explain it here the same way. Not because I think you all are stupid, she is quite intelligent. Only because it is easier to understand.
Your brain sends chemicals/hormones back and forth inside itself. In a normal brain, they absorb. In a bipolar brain, some do not. It is as simple as that. The hormones needed for emotional stability are not absorbed correctly and it causes issues.

Now. There are two different types of the disorder. One is Bipolar I and one is Bipolar II. Sock and amazement!

Bipolar I: this means manic episodes. Extreme euphoria, not drug induced. Extreme depression, again not drug induced. Triggers create the variables, cause the mood swings. You switch in the blink of an eye, for an undetermined amount of time. Intense rage, violence, blackouts, hysterical laughter, etc. these are all associated with the Bipolar I disorder. Clinical depression is a word often used. From Wikipedia: "At the lower levels of mania, such as hypomania, individuals may appear energetic and excitable. At a higher level, individuals may behave erratically and impulsively, often making poor decisions due to unrealistic ideas about the future, and may have great difficulty with sleep. At the highest level, individuals can show psychotic behavior, including violence. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes, or symptoms, or a mixed state in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time. These events are usually separated by periods of "normal"mood; but, in some individuals, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, which is known as rapid cycling. Severe manic episodes can sometimes lead to such psychotic symptoms as delusions and hallucinations."
This I do not have. My brother does, and let me tell you it is not easy to manage. But it is controllable with therapy and proper medication.

Bipolar II: this means elongated mood changes. Depression is more common, it is also more intense. Not manic, not quick and over with. I mean long. There are also times of high energy. Bouncing off the walls, running everywhere. Just go, go, go. No sleep,  no food. Very productive, also very bad. Let me share this from Wikipedia. "Hypomania in bipolar II may manifest itself in disorganized racing thoughts, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, or all of the above combined. Because these agitated symptoms are negative, it may be difficult to distinguish a bipolar II hypomanic state from depression. Hypomania is often regarded as an elation of mood; however, mood may be negative in bipolar II hypomania. Mixed states and/or rapid cycling may also be present." Also, I will share these 'indicators':

Hypomanic episodes

• High energy levels
• Hedonistic mood
• Unrealistic optimism
• Mystical experiences
• Irritability and anger
• Automatic thoughts
• Maladaptive assumptions
• Hypersexuality

[edit]Depressive episodes

• Low energy levels
• Cessation of usual activities
• Black and white thinking
• Unrealistic pessimism
• Overgeneralization
• Automatic thoughts
• Maladaptive assumptions
• Dysfunctional personal schemas^[8]
• Thoughts of suicide
• Isolation from people

[edit]Relapse

In the case of a relapse, the following symptoms often occur and are considered early warning signs:^[9]

• Sleep disturbance: patient requires less sleep and does not feel tired
• Racing thoughts and/or speech
• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Emotional intensity
• Spending more money than usual
• Binge behavior, including food, drugs, or alcohol
• Arguments with family members and friends
• Taking on many projects at once

People with bipolar disorder may develop alternate identities to match each mood they experience. For some, this is done intentionally, as a means by which to escape trauma or pain from a depressive period, or simply to better organize one's life by setting boundaries for one's perceptions and behaviors.^[10]



I have Bipolar II Disorder. I am not ashamed, it is part of who I am. I just wanted to distinguish the differences so people understand a little better. Also, not everything I do or say is because I am in an up or down phase, as I call them. Yes, this disorder is part of me. It does not define me though and I want to make that clear. So many people say, "oh, you're bipolar, I'm sorry". Well, I'm not. The general public has a really screwed up view of my disorder. I hope this helps at least one person understand. And no, this is not directed at anyone. Just a thought that crossed my mind, hence the title "Sidenote". Goodnight all :)